Top 10 comments to annoy geek girls.
Like many geek girls I am fed up with the mistaken impressions most people seem to have when it comes to geekiness and the female sex. For some reason people seem to think we are either girly as hell or some weird socially defective uber nerd. I have been inspired to share my annoyance at the comments people make by @geekgirldiva’s brilliant post in defense of geek girls and also geekdads lists of Top 10 (More) Ways to Provoke a Geek Argument.
Here are to top 10 comments that annoy me as a geek girl:
1. – Girls don’t like games.
Yes we do! I have probably spent as many hours playing computer games in my life as I have watching horror movies, which is a lot. I know many other girls who love games and often pwn the guys, which for some reason really bothers them.
2. – Okay so they like games, but only those cutsey ones right?
Sure I like some cutesy games, but I also likes tons of games with guns and aliens and explosions and zombies. It all depends on how good the gameplay is, which is way more important to me than what it looks like.
3. – Women are not good with computers or technology.
As a software developer who has worked in IT for years and built a few computers I would obviously disagree with this. While women are less common in the field I would say that most I have worked with have been great, as you have to be into it to want to enter such a male field.
4. – Girls can’t skate/snowboard
While most of us geeks avoid sport for more nerdy indoor activities we have been known to hop on skateboards and snowboards every now and then. When I go snowboarding I am normally one of the only females, but I can keep up with and surpass many of the guys and ironically have the balls to take risks many of them would avoid.
5. – My girlfriend takes forever to get ready
Not strictly a geeky chick complaint, but definately something that many geeky girls couldn’t be accused of, as we are often happy to just throw on a cool t-shirt and some cool geeky shoes. In these days of metrosexual moisturising men I expect loads of guys take longer than their girlfriends, geek or not.
6. – All chicks on the internet are attention whores.
A common complaint from men on internet forums is that females are being attention whores when they post pictures or share anything about themselves, whereas guys can do the same with no comments. Granted some of them probably are fishing for attention, but most people are just being friendly.
7. – Scary movies are too scary for girls.
I am a huge fan of horror and weird japanese movies, so the idea that I would be crouching behind my couch at a gory scene is crazy. I am normally way too busy laughing at my husband’s fear.
8. – Shhh, there are ladies present.
This might be a personal thing, but I find it really annoying and patronising when men make a big deal out of not swearing in front of me or single me out and apologise (which kept happening to me in a meeting with 30+ guys, myself and our managing director – I didn’t feel at all singled out.. no really). Granted some women hate swearing, some men do too, but once you have known me for 5 seconds you should be able to gather than I am not easilly offended by language (unless it’s anti geek girl language).
9. – We better make it pink
Not all girls like pink. I don’t mind it myself, but I don’t feel the need to have all my gadgets in pretty colours, I just want stuff that functions well. In addition to the general pinkness I also find the assumption that girls aren’t into gadgets or electronics insulting, I would sooner give up my hair than my plasma screen.
10. – Comics are for boys
I have been reading comics since I was a kid, and not just archie or casper, actual super hero comics like spiderman or batman and of course 2000AD. My love has comics has continued and developed over the years and I would gladly spend an enjoyable day at any comic convention.
_____
You might think these kind of comments are rare, but I have been a geek girl all my life and I can’t count the number of times guys have been shocked that I have watched certain films or played games.. or played games at all. You might think that regular people are bound to make that mistake, as all things geek are mysterious to them, however I have found that geek guys can be more mystified and uncomfortable with geek girls than anyone else.
The crazy thing is that if you are lucky enough to land a geeky lady you will be in geek heaven, as they are happy to stay in all weekend playing games or watching movies and won’t yell at you for spending all your time on the internet (unless you are using all her bandwidth). So if you are a single geek guy make sure you remember to avoid any risky comments.
Of course those are just the ones that annoy me, and may well not bother anyone else. Would love to hear from other geek girls, so add your comments and help me educate the masses.
Your post reminds me of Lilah from CAD (by @timcad): http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20030115 (Her second appearance)
So true!! Awesome post!
Great post! As a 42 year-old geek female, I got into computers and other geeky passions when I was a child. I was into science fiction, comics, games, etc. from as far back as I can remember. I was the only girl in our computer groups and the only computer lab aide at our school.
When I got into the technology field, I was the only girl in my classes and in my first technology-related jobs. I had to work harder to prove to my colleagues that I was just as competent, but I always earned their respect.
I still enjoy my geeky passions, and my ex-husband was also a geek who appreciated that I shared his interests. I remember us coming home from being out late with friends, only to be up the rest of the night playing Red Alert against each other on our home network.
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I’m with you on pretty much all of them, though with #8 I think familiarity is the deciding factor. Anyone who knows me pretty well knows there’s not a whole lot they could say to offend me (language-wise), but it IS nice when a man I don’t know excuses himself for cursing if I or another woman is around. That’s just good manners; and considering that I see less and less of them from people in general nowadays, it’s nice when I do.
Thanks Kristen and Nicki for the great comments. I think one of the great things about social media sites like twitter is that us geeks are no longer in the minority.
I was actually surprised by how many people agreed with a lot of the comments, although I do agree the swearing if more of a personal thing. I would always rather men be polite and say give up a seat on a bus for an older lady, just because it is decent.
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Writing lists like this just perpetuates the status-quo. You would never get a list like this written from the other way around – 10 comments to annoy geek boys. “We do like sport and we can open jam jar lids and we’re not afraid of spiders”. When you write the list you openly accept the fact that you see yourself as different. If someone consistently tells you that being bald doesn’t matter, they are just restating the notion that it does. If it wasn’t an issue – it wouldn’t be an issue. If you don’t want to be labelled, don’t label yourself. If you don’t want to be judged, don’t judge yourself. We’re never going to get anywhere are we?
Ha, loved this post! I went to PAX last year and some random guy asked me “you’re here with your husband? I couldn’t convince my wife to come with me”. He couldn’t conceive that I actually WANTED to be there. A girl at a game show, she must have been dragged into this by a guy. Argh, so annoying!
heh, I don’t mind being labelled by myself, I just mind being labelled incorrectly.
It’s all just meant to be in fun, and I am only reacting to things that are commonly said to me, if they weren’t they wouldn’t be on the list.
How about we replace all of the ten above with these:
1) Geek girls can’t proofread:
“…but definately” (try “definitely”)
“I also likes…”
“I am not easilly offended…”
“…these kind of comments…”
and
2) Geek girls *can* take a light-hearted joke
Heh, it’s a personal blog not a newspaper or college paper. I have never claimed this as in any way professional, and if I only manage 3 typos in a post I think that is pretty good going
Not that I am offended by a light-hearted joke or even actual snide comments. I’m just amazed anyone would take the time to “mark” obvious typing errors in someone else’s entirely frivolous blog like some disapproving english teacher.
Actually would be handy if you could do that on all my posts from now on and save me any bothar (that was a little typo treat for you).
Haha awesome Ariane, I will probably have to make an updated list sometime with all the great comments people have been giving me.
hey maw, I just found this link to your blog while at work surfing the guardian website – nice one
Unfortunately I’m not geek at all, but I still love all those scary movies, and games and I’ve heard a lot of those comments myself. I hate pink, too. And when someone thinks they should use delicate language around me it ony encourages me to drop a few more f-bombs to shock them!
Cool post.
I’m female and I’m a programmer. I think much of your list depends on the person and has more to do with general sexism than geeks in particular. I fit some of your descriptions (I don’t care about swearing, I don’t take long to get ready, and I don’t like pink) but not others (I have no interest in snowboarding, don’t play many computer games, and don’t care for horror movies). The one point which probably applies to all geeks, male or female, is that it’s the functionality which matters more than the appearance (point 9). I don’t experience a lot of geek-specific sexism (i.e. “women can’t be programmers!”) in my daily life but I would like it if we could get rid of the stereotype of the socially-inept geek (male or female). But that’s unlikely, as movies rely on cheap cardboard cutout characters, and it’s not crucial since everyone knows movies != life.