I have been a terribly inactive blogger recently, and I am still a bit short on energy, so instead of bothering with the hassle of making my own content I am going to encourage you to visit www.acwe.co.uk – also know as Avoid Contact With Eyes.

Of course I am somewhat biased towards ACWE, as it is the new and improved website, blog and portfolio of my equally geeky husband, Adam Walker. It is however, a damn good site, and the blog should prove entertaining to anyone who enjoys the type of content I feature here.  So far he has covered topics including design, fiction, music, movies, web goodies, Sherlock Holmes, b-movies… and I am sure he will continue to post about all things geeky

If you like good design and functionality you will also enjoy ACWE, as Adam is a talented and experienced print, newspaper and web designer.  The site is basically a playground for his design skills and experiments, combined with entertaining content. The way he has created the site enables him to set up a unique design for each blog post. So you can expect plenty of treats for the eyes as well as the brain.

The lates ACWE blog post is part one of a series of posts on classic B-movies, starting with this list of brilliant b-movie monsters.

So what are you still doing here? Go check out ACWE, and be sure to leave plenty of comment so he knows I sent you

So I have been using Google Wave for a week or so now and friends keep asking me what it actually is, so I have decided to share my first impressions. If you want a detailed review or guide you might want to look elsewhere. There are loads of extensive reviews out there, that go into far more detail than I can be bothered with. Instead I’m just going to share a normal(ish) users opinion on the pro & cons of wave. Partly to give potential users a basic overview that should help them decide if the tool is suited to them, but also to share views and suggestions with other users and discover more about the potential uses.

Basically Google Wave is an an online tool for real-time communication and collaboration. This means you can use it for all sorts of things, real time chat or conversation, group projects or even interactive games. Waves can contain text, photos, videos, maps, and plenty more. This all sounds great on paper, but what does that actually mean for new users? As a long-term user of forums, chat and social networking I have used various online systems from newsgroups and irc through to yuku forums and twitter. I was therefore keen to try out Wave, and have certainly enjoyed using it, but so far I haven’t managed to pin down how or when I will use it.

Working it out

So after a few weeks of wondering what on earth Google Wave is all about you finally get your official invite, yet despite signing in you still don’t really have a clue what it’s for. You are not alone. For me the immediate problem was figuring out what to do next, how to find good waves, how to make waves, and what on earth they should be about.

Luckily for me I have a few friends on there, so I was quickly added to a few active waves and soon figured out how to get involved. I am also know how to search for things on google, so It didn’t take me long to figure out that I needed to use public:wave before my search query to view anything that has been made public, but I have had a lot of queries about this from other users, so can’t help wondering why such basic features aren’t more obvious. I do suspect, that for many users the whole thing might seem a bit too confusing and complicated, and they might be stuck with an almost empty inbox with no idea what to do next. Obviously some confusion is inevitable when a system offers so many options, however I think they may have made some features that need to be obvious tricky to find.

As great as it is that you can install extensions, I can’t help thinking that being able to find waves or insert a picture without having to search for help would be far more valuable for new users. Of course google tries to give you as much help as possible, by sending you a few handy guides, but once again I think all that information is a bit overwhelming for new users. For me the most frustrating things is how heavily the guides rely on instructional videos. As someone who can generally figure out software myself, I tend to scan through help documents to find the particular feature I am having problems with. The last thing I want to do is watch a 5 minute video to figure out basic functions or which button/keyboard shortcut is needed.

So what now?

Once you have got your head round the basics of how it works, contributed to or started waves with your friends or patricipated in public waves, you might find yourself wondering what on earth you are going to use it for.  This is of course very familiar to people who have used sites like twitter, which can seem pointless till you try them and build up a good feed. However, because Wave invites were initially very limited, it was hard to find friends to communicate with at first. Hopefully now that more users are being invited Wave will feel a lot more active, and with luck the system and it’s content will evolve organically into something that immediately grabs our attention.

I do suspect that it might almost be too general, which may make it too easy to miss the point. With twitter you are limited to text, links and a small number of characters, which influences the type of content posted. On forums users are generally there due to shared interests, and over the years etiquette has developed. As all encompassing as Wave is, there is still a lot of confusion over its usage, and as yet it is hard for everyone to put their finger on what they want to use it for, apart from talking about my cat of course.

While I don’t want extra rules or restrictions, I do hope that the service develops it’s own etiquette (much like Retweeting was created by users on twitter) and uses, as some structure will hopefully help people figure out how to get the most out of it. Of course the whole point of the system is that waves can be about anything or everything, but being able to check out popular and succesfull waves would no doubt encourage us all to add good content.

I do think the developers need to make it easier for us to find relevant content. Forums and social networking sites like twitter or facebook work well because it’s easy to see what your friends are posting, and get involved or find new contacts. This visibility seems to be missing on Wave. While you can search for public threads, there is no quick view of popular waves or waves your friends are posting in, so new users have no idea how to find that great content. Unless you are lucky enough to have active friends who add you to waves you have to find them yourself, and might end up missing out on great content you would love to get involved in.
So far I have enjoyed using wave to chat with friends, find and discuss music, discuss specific topics, share links to great websites or games, help myself and other users with the system itself and most importantly bore everyone with pointless waves about my handsome cat. As great as all that is, I don’t think any of us have managed to stretch wave to it’s full potential yet, or figure out what it does best, but I am certainly enjoying trying.

So what’s bugging me?

Despite all my seemingly negative comments above I do like Wave, and I am hopeful that it will take off. Any problems I have mentioned are purely due to the infancy of the system and despite my moaning I personally enjoy figuring out how things work, however one thing I don’t enjoy is dealing with frequent bugs and error messages.  Hopefully a lot of it is down to teething problems, but at the moment I frequently have to reload Wave due to incredible lagging, script errors, Wave error messages or the whole thing (including any other browser windows I have open) freezing.

This doesn’t really surprise me, as it’s a beta version and I have used on on a variety of browsers and machines, but it does put me off, as spending 5 mins writing a brief response is incredibly frustrating. There are a few other little glitches that I find annoying. For some reason whenever I start a new wave the system creates another blank wave which I then have to delete. If you expand the user list within a wave and scroll right to the bottom the list automatically closes before you are able to add anyone, which is deeply annoying if you are trying to add someone near the bottom of your list. The scrollbar works very differently to the standard to save space, which is fine, but personally I find it almost impossible to get it to scroll to the bit of the wave I am trying to see, as it either whizzes by or I get lagged/stuck above it.

I think they could make simple improvements to the waves themselves, which would make them a lot easier to use. Much like traditional newsgroups users can reply under certain messages, creating sub-threads, which is great but can make the thread confusing at a glance. This could be a lot simpler if these sub-threads/replies were minimised as default, with an option to expand or collapse. Not having to read every tangent would make scrolling through the thread a lot easier, and highlighting the messages with unread replies would make it impossible to miss new messages, even if they are minimised.

Hopefully as people share suggestions or frustrations google will fix and improve the service. As I have worked in development I am the last person to be unsympathetic to bugs and teething problems, and am happy to work around them for now, but if the lagging/freezing issue isn’t resolved or gets worse I will be simply unable to try… well not without bashing either my laptop or the front of my head to pieces by repeatedly banging it into the desk. From discussion with my Wave buddies I know that these problems are fairly common, although oddly everyone seems to report slightly different errors, depending perhaps on their browser, OS or system.

Finally

This post may seem negative, as I have shared a lot of things I don’t like about wave, however I have no doubt that it will continue to improve and reach it’s full potential. My main concern is that some users will be put off in these early stages, despite it’s beta status. However, as Google have such a good track record, I am hopeful that most enthusiastic users will persevere and help build wave into something great. The way they have staggered the invites has also helped build up the hype, and makes it seem far more desirable, so hopefully when they finally get an invite most users will invest enough time to get into it.

Of course these are just my first impressions. We will all have different opinions, skills and interests, so if you have tried Wave please share your thoughts below, as it might help enlighten other users, and me of course. I hope that discussing the pro’s and cons of wave, or simply sharing simple tips, will help us all figure out how to get the most out of this brand new tool. I have also started a Wave to ask users what they think, so I may be adding updates based on their comments.

If you are new to wave, or want to know more about it’s uses, have a look at the Google Wave help files.

Regular supermaw readers will know that I am a lover of all things undead, so I am sure you won’t be surprised to find out I have put a little time and thought into my top ten zombie movies of all time.

I generally find it impossible to actually settle on favourites, so this definitive list would probably change from one week to the next depending on what I had most recently seen. Regardless of this, I have decided to put together a list, partly just to praise the movies I love, but also to give a good overview of the variety of zombie films available.

First things first, lets clear up why I love horror and specifically zombies so much. Well there are a bunch of reasons. Zombie movies were traditionally made on a low budget and maybe with lower expectations that other movies, which leads to some funny moments, but also moments of awesomeness you wouldn’t get in a more mainstream film. The fact that these movies were made by crazy people on crazy budgets is what makes them so brilliant. Sure you get some laugh out loud dips in quality, but you also get some truly gory, uncomfortable and just plain scary moments that you would be hard pushed to find anywhere else.

So why zombies? The classic zombie era spawned many other low budget horrors, but something about that sluggish yet inevitable approach of mindless terror obviously strikes a chord with many of us. Of course the fact that they were recently human helps. The thought that any one of us, or any of our friends or relatives could quite easily turn into one of the living dead is chilling. Chilling, yet strangely appealing.

Over the years zombies have evolved, some of them even run now, I kid you not. Due to their obvious longevity directors have been able to make zombie films on larger budgets, and sometimes they don’t totally suck. As the recent £45 zombie film Colin and the upcoming Invasion of the Not Quite Dead illustrate, as long as there are aspiring film makers out there we will be scared and entertained by zombies in a variety of styles and on a variety of budgets.

So without any further delay, here are my top 10 zombie films…

1. Night of the Living Dead

It would be unthinkable to leave Romero’s Night of the Living Dead out of any zombie movie list. It might not have been the first zombie movie, but it has been successful and popular enough to influence many of the great zombie apocalypse movies that followed, and many feel it has been a major influence on the whole zombie sub-genre. Set in rural Pennsylvania, this black and white film tells the story of a group of people trapped in a farmhouse while the zombie threat rages outside.

The film starts innocently enough, with a pair of siblings visiting their fathers grave, but they are soon attacked by a strange pale man. The brother is killed and his sister Barbara flees, seeking refuge in a farmhouse, surrounded by more of these strange men. She soon discovers a group of people hiding there, and together they attempt to secure the house and survive the night, while reports of mayhem and confusion outside continue on the radio.

Inevitably the group struggle to cope, and over the course of the movie more of them become infected and begin to attack and eat each other. As great as these scary and gory moments are, the real horror of this story (and many zombie films that follow) is the hopelessness of the situation as they struggle to survive against an unthinking and merciless foe.

2. [REC]

A modern, Spanish take on the zombie movie. I have included this film as it shows how the basic idea of humans becoming somehow infected and attacking the healthy continues to evolve in totally new and unexpected ways. This film was shot in documentary style, and is entirely set in one dark and claustrophobic building. Somehow despite the unbelievable premise it manages to seem very real and very scary.

A group of people get quarantined in an apartment building after some of the residents come down with a very zombie like “illness”. A reporter and camera crew were following the local cops who are called in, and they all end up trapped with the residents, as they are quarantined by the authorities trying to avoid the spread of infection. Initially the reporter treats the situation as a story, and interviews the residents and policemen, building up a picture of what the mysterious infection might be, and how the situation has come about.

Fear and confusion quickly escalate, and members of the group are attacked and injured as they struggle to figure out what is happening and how to stay alive. There are some truly terrifying moments when the infected attack, and the shaky documentary style footage, along with the darkness and confinement certainly heighten this. I have yet to see the American remake Quarantine, however I see no reason to chose that over this great original, even if it is in foreign. Sub-titles are good for developing the brain, maybe.

3. Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things

For reasons unknown a bunch of aspiring actors follow their insane cock of a director to a weird island full of graves to dig up a dead body and you guessed it, play with it. Why director Alan has decided to drag what he calls his children to this island for this nonsense is never explained properly. How could you? After creeping them all out with stories, then pulling a prank with a corpse and the help of the campest fake zombies ever, Alan dons a really rubbish wizards robe and starts trying to raise the dead.

They then adjourn to the cottage with Orville, a corpse they have dug up, and Alan continues to upset the group with his mean spirited pranks, strange behaviour and apparent desire to bed a corpse. Eventually his bizarre spells from earlier actually work, the dead rise up and start biting people, and the group gets trapped in the creepy cottage, surrounded by surprisingly fast zombies.

This film was made on a really small budget, with friends of the director being roped in to help, however despite the low budget and bizarre attempt at a plot, the make-up and effects are surprisingly good. Just a shame the same can’t be said for all of the acting. As baffling as the plot and characters might be, this film is definitely worth watching, just don’t expect it to make any sense or deliver any likeable characters.

4. Children of the Living Dead

This movie may have been made in 2001, but the budget, acting and generally terrible quality of every aspect of this movie make it seem a lot older. Notable mainly for the momentary appearance of zombie movie legend Tom Savini as a zombie killer at the start of the movie, unfortunately the movie goes downhill from there. Way, way downhill. This movie ignores most of the established zombie movie rules, but it seems to be out of laziness than any desire to create something awesome.

The film centres around Abbot Hayes, a dead serial killer and rapist who disappears from the morgue and becomes the leader in a number of waves of zombie attacks. A group of local young people fall under his influence, which is explained by a flashback to him abducting them as children, earning him the nickname Abbot Hayes zombie babysitter in our house.

The Director, Tor Ramsey actually offered a written apology to anyone who “wasted 90 minutes of their life” watching this film. However, as far as I am concerned this movie is so bad it actually works it’s way back round to good. This film has it all, bad acting and every zombie movie cliché you can imagine (and a few that are pure nonsense). Don’t watch this film expecting a classic, or rough gem. It really is terrible, but if you share my sense if humour that won’t matter, as you will be laughing from begining to end.

5. Living Dead at Manchester Morgue

Nobody does horror like the Italians and the Spanish, and who better to make a British based zombie romp. Okay so it has it’s share of cheesy moments, strange voice work and despite the title they don’t seem to go anywhere near Manchester. However despite, or maybe in addition to those quirks this film still manages a few moment of real zombie related horror. Plus it’s worth watching for misogynistic hero George alone.

The story follow George and Edna, who damages his bike and therefore agrees to take him to his destination. The pair soon become aware that the dead are rising, and become involved with the local police as they try to convince them of the danger. As the story unfolds we are treated to an awesome array of zombies, and one of the most frightening zombie attacks ever.

There are some flaws in this Spanish/Italian production, but this movie offer a great soundtrack, an engaging story, a great combination or gore and terror and plenty of characters that you will love to hate.

6. 28 Days Later

A modern British take on the zombie movie, 28 Days Later follows the struggles of a small group of survivors after a mass outbreak which causes the majority of the population to display typically zombie like symptoms. This 2002 Danny Boyle film seemed to distance itself from the zombie labels in the initial marketing, and till I saw the film I wasn’t sure it was really a zombie movie. However, when you watch the movie, despite differences in style (and zombie speed), the influences from classic apocalyptic zombie movies are unmissable.

Set in the UK, the film opens in a deserted London, 28 days after animal rights activists release a chimp infected with a virus called “Rage”. Bicycle courier Jim, awakens from a coma in a deserted hospital, and soon discovers the whole city is empty, with signs of disaster all round. He soon learns about the virus and meets up with other survivors who are struggling to stay alive.

As we follow them on their journey to find safety, we see them deal not only with threat from the infected, but also from other survivors. In the struggle to cope with the constant danger and total breakdown of society, the group are forced to make difficult decisions in a battle to stay alive.

7. Braindead

Peter Jackson’s third movie is a comical gore fest, but with a $3 million budget he took the genre up to a new level and created some truly memorably gruesome scenes. Although it is in the same vein as his earlier works, the budget allowed him to create a far more polished end product, with effects that have to be seen to be believed.

The film opens on Skull Island, where a zombie creating monkey is captured and transported to New Zealand by a zoologist before the locals can prevent it. Fast forward to Wellington, and Vera, overbearing mother to Lionel becomes infected while spying on her sons date with local woman Paquita. Being a loyal son Lionel attempts to keep his mother sedated, while trying to maintain his romance. Unfortunately as the story unfolds, more of the town folk become infected and we are treated to a bewildering array of gore and vileness.

The obvious humour of this movie allowed Jackson to go far further with the gore factor than would normally be accepted, as most censors found it hard to believe that anyone would take it seriously. A great combination of horror and hilarity, I defy anyone to watch this film without laughing out loud.

8. Dawn of the Dead

Also known a Zombi, this 1978 film was the second film in Romero’s Living Dead trilogy, not linked by characters but by the basic premise of a zombie epidemic. While this basic premise is the same, in this story the outbreak has reached a much larger scale, and the film focuses on the effects on society of such an apocalyptic event. The outbreak has spread uncontrollably and there is little understanding of the causes, so despite the best effort of the government society has basically collapsed into mass hysteria and confusion.

Martial law has been imposed, and in the confusion the National Guard are attacking citizens and the infected alike. A group led by a TV station pilot plan a helicopter escape to the Canadian countryside, but unfortunately they are unable to make it there. They are forced to seek refuge in a shopping mall, which they feel able to secure against the increasing chaos outside. Once inside they are effectively trapped in this well stocked sanctuary, surrounded by danger, with constant reminders of the hopelessness of their situation. In addition to the zombie danger, they have to worry about their own risk of infection and the threat of attack by other more brutal survivors.

I really love this movie, everything from the claustrophobic shopping mall setting, to the awesomely quirky soundtrack, which perfectly compliments the the comedy of zombies on an escalator. The sheer hopelessness of this movie, and the constant risk of attack from every angle is what makes this movie so brilliant. Impossible to watch it and not start wondering what you would do and where you would go in that position.

9. Zombie (AKA Zombi 2)

Lucio Fulci’s film has it all. If You have any doubts let me just say this… it has an underwater fight between a zombie and a shark! Confusingly this 1979 movie has numerous names Zombie, Island of the Living Dead, Zombie Island, Zombie Flesh Eaters, Woodoo and of course Zombi 2, despite having no relation to Zombi (the Italian title of George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead).

The movie follows a young lady and a reporter who are searching for her father, whose boat was found mysteriously empty in New York harbour, after he leaves to do research on a tropical island. After being questioned by police, they discover a note from Anne’s father, advising them he is on the island of Matool and that he has come down with a strange disease. They decide to travel to the island, after enlisting another couples aid, and on arrival they quickly become aware that the whole island is infected with the walking dead.

The couple struggle to survive and escape the island once everyone else has been infected in the hope that the horror hasn’t spread to the rest of the world. As this story unfolds we are treated to some fantastically gruesome moments, including an unforgettably cringe inducing eye gouging scene, which contributed to the film’s video nasty reputation.

10. Shaun of the Dead

In recent years the words horror and comedy in conjunction have filled me with dread. However, as a fan of Edgar Wright & Simon Pegg who created the fantastic series Spaced, I was excited to see their take on the zombie movie, and I wasn’t disappointed. Unlike some spoof horror movies this film didn’t just go for cheap laughs and it was obvious that the creators are big zombie film fans themselves. While they do play on horror movie clichés and stereotypes, they do so intelligently enough to make this a really entertaining movie.

The story follows Shaun, an unsuccessful guy approaching middle age, in a dead end retail job. Due to his lack of ambition, his friendship with bad influence Ed and his poor choice of date venues, his unhappy girlfriend Liz breaks things off. After a drunken night of commiseration with Ed, Shaun decides to sort his life out and win Liz back, but before he can put his plan into action there is a zombie uprising.

The rest of the film follows Shaun and his increasing group of friends including Ed and Liz, struggling to get to safety and stay alive. This struggle includes plenty of laughs, some genuine scares, great zombies and of course the obligatory learning of lessons and building of relationships. On paper there is nothing hugely original about this film (apart from the knowing comedy maybe), but the skill with which it is made turns a funny movie with zombies into a brilliant, well-made and popular film.

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There are hundreds of great zombie movies, and there is no way I could include them all, so I have tried to pick a good variety, most of which will lead you to other awesome choices. Also check out my post on Brooker’s Dead Set, which wasn’t included only because it isn’t actually a film. If you watch all the movies listed above, you will have my personal guarantee that you will be 100% prepared for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. No need to thank me now, plenty of time for that when I am leader of the remaining humans.

Now it’s your turn. Tell us about your favourite zombie films and why you love them.

It’s clear from the variety of self improvment tv shows, magazine articles, books and websites that many of us humans feel dissatisfied with our lives and believe that we can achieve the ultimate happiness by somehow making ourselves more succesfull, both personally and professionally. I am not going to sit here and tell you that money has no relation to happiness. Anyone who has had to struggle to pay their bills is well aware that being broke can and will make you stressed and unhappy, and of course that is magnified a thousand fold when you are talking about real poverty. So no, I don’t believe that money can’t make you happy or unhappy. Only the rich or the stupid could make such a ridiculous claim, as they don’t understand that money can make the difference between being hungry and full, sick and well, alive or dead. Being dead would certainly ruin my day.

I am also not going to dispute that many people have emotional or social issues which prevent them from enjoying life as much as they might otherwise. There are countless problems, both mental and physical, that can hamper our emotional development. Getting help either through medical treatments, drugs, therapy or personal development can obviously be a great help for people with real problems and can help you improve your emotional life, in the same way that getting guidance or training can improve your professional life.

What I am going to dispute however, is the notion that we SHOULD be happy. At least not all the time. Yes, of course we could all benefit from having a good job and a stable financial situation and many of us might also benefit from help on the emotional side of things. However, in our efforts to achieve as much happiness as possible we seem to have forgotten one thing… that it is in fact totally normal and acceptable for us to be unhappy sometimes. Unhappiness isn’t something that needs to be fixed, it’s just part of life. As much as we might try, there is no way you can protect yourself entirely from bad luck in both your personal and professional life.

The reality is that people get sick, businesses become unstable, economies collapse, people make mistakes, people lose their jobs, partners fall in love with other people, children commit crimes, friends become junkies, mothers get cancer and people we care about die, time and time again. I’m not trying to depress you all here, it’s just part of life and of course we get the flip side. We meet the man or woman of our dreams and fall in love, have brilliant times with our friends, achieve success in our jobs, make beautiful kids, eat a great burger and of course have fantastic sex.

Whatever your personal beliefs, it’s clear that life is full of ups and downs. Sure, some people have worse luck that others. Madonna having millions might seem unfair when you compare it to the life of the African woman who made her a baby, but I am willing to bet that both have experienced joy and sadness. Of course living in a poverty striken coutry is going to include a lot more hardship than the life of an international superstar, but that shows how random luck can be.  Of course a person who has millions will be able to remove a some misery from their lives, but they will still have to deal with death and loneliness just like the rest of us. Not saying we should pity them for this any more than anyone else, but it just proves that we all deal with unhappiness and the randomness of luck sometimes.

So now that I have convinced you that we are all doomed to bad luck, misfortune and misery for the rest of our short lives I guess I should get to the point. Basically I value the bad stuff almost as much as the good. I’m not saying I dance a jig at funerals or feel glee at my own misfortune. Of course I am sad when bad stuff happens and I might cry or whine about my horrible luck. I will certainly tell my friends about my misery and accept their sympathy and might even write a blog post about it. What I will try not to do however, is ask ‘Why me?’.  As tempting as a bit of self pity is, thinking that you don’t deserve this kind of horrible luck or wondering why you have it so much harder than everyone else is the way madness lies. As we have already discussed, everybody has bad luck and there is no way you can control it. The only thing you can control is how you deal with the crap life throws at you. How you let your unhappiness manifest itself.

If you have convinced yourself that you deserve constant happiness life will seem very unfair, as you will undoubtedly have problems just like everyone else, and might even escalate them by your inability to cope with tough situations. Accepting that some things are out of your control will make these situations a lot easier to deal with, as you can let things go rather than beating yourself up or considering yourself a failure. Even if you do make a mistake, learning from it, accepting your error and moving on will lead to a lot less unhappiness in the long run.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a good old moan when bad luck strikes. A healthy whine can be theraputic and if nothing else can provide plenty of comedy. Just remember that some unhappiness is normal and unevitable. As bad as you might feel it will pass, even if it that seems impossible. Even if you have a long term problem, maybe pain or ill health, poverty or danger, mental or emotional issues, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how bad things get there will always be something good on the horizon, maybe getting a loving hug, enjoying a great movie, having a cuddle with a purring cat or reading a good book. Whatever it is that makes you happy, remember that you can and will enjoy them again. By facing and accepting the negatives that you have no control over, you should be able to keep your unhappiness to a minumum and will be able to appreciate the good things even more.

I will leave you with some pics of  stuff that makes me happy…

As a child of the late 70’s /early 80’s movies played a huge part in my life and there are certain films from that era that I will always remember. These movies were my first taste of film fantasy, and no doubt shaped my tastes and continue to influence them to this day. It’s impossible to think back on those formative years without remembering these films, so I have decided to share the most memorable films from my childhood with you, my lucky readers.

Gremlins

If you were a child of the 80’s you will no doubt have been charmed by the adorable Mogwai then amused by it’s violently crazed Gremlin spawn. An enjoyable re-watch, not least for the strange story of the Dad who died in a chimney pretending to be Santa, which I somehow didn’t notice in my youth.

Bizarrely violent and ridiculously quirky, Gremlins is a brilliant feel good Christmas movie for those who like their comedy dark and their gremlins running wild.

The Goonies

This adventure movie has it all. A group of kids on a mission to save their homes from the obligatory money grabbing bad guys, an old pirate legend, a treasure map and some comedy crooks for good measure.

In the days before becoming a gay hobbit Sean Astin led this unlikely group of kids on an adventure to find One Eyed Willie’s treasure, getting into many amusing scrapes along the way and of course learning some valuable life lessons and more importantly finding a boatload of treasure.

Labyrinth

You remind me of the babe(What babe?) Babe with the power (What power?) Power of voodoo(Who do?)You do… Sorry where was I? Oh yes Labyrinth.

Jennifer Connelly plays a young girl on a quest to rescue her little brother, in this gorgeous fantasy film. In order to save her brother from the somewhat familiar Goblin King she must solve the great maze within 13 hours. During her mission she encounters many strange characters, many of whom are puppets, which adds to the otherworldly feel of the movie. Worth watching for too many reasons to list.

Star Wars

When episode IV burst onto our screens it changed movies forever. All children of the 80’s will remember their first Star Wars experience, as the series provided the most amazing special effects we had ever seen, bundled with awesome space fantasy that was perfectly designed to capture the imagination of a generation.

Whatever you might think of Lucas, he allowed us to grow up in a world where Jedi, weird hairy aliens, camp robots and crazy side buns were the norm. Which can’t be a bad thing.

E.T

The story of a young boy who befriends a short, funny looking extraterrestrial, and then attempts to keep him safe by hiding him from parents, friends and the sinister key jangling man who seems determined to get hold of the little fella.

An undeniably sweet film and one of the first I can remember seeing. As weird as he might look, my 5 year old self could think of nothing more awesome than befriending an ugly alien of my own.

Jaws

A man eating shark on a popular beach resort? What more could your average bloodthirsty child want from a film? Throw in some nudity, a gross shark autopsy and a floating head and you have it nailed.

The combination of the fleeting shark shots, happy swimmers, occasional violent deaths, worried townsfolk and of course that inspired music made this film unforgettable… and no doubt haunted every kid who went in the ocean for at least a decade.

The Karate Kid

This charming film about fighting brought joy to children and financial strain to parents, as their children begged to learn Karate. I think I managed about 3 lessons, just long enough to get the cool outfit.

Ralph Macchio stars as Daniel LaRusso, a teenage kid who moves to a new town, only to get on the wrong side of a local gang of Karate obsessed youths by flirting with the wrong girl. After the obligatory struggles and setbacks, Daniel discovers that the apartment handyman Mr Miyagi has got mad Karate skills, and convinces him to train him so he can beat the bad guys & get the girl.

Ghostbusters

Something strange in your neighbourhood? Who are you going to call? That’s right, Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd, Harold Ramis and the other one in the guise of the Ghostbusters. This hilarious ghost based movie has it all, romance, humour, annoying government officials, huge terror dogs, a giant marshmallow man and of course lots and lots of ghosts.

I think Ghostbusters has to win the prize for the movie I have watched the most times, as it was a monthly (if not weekly) occurrence in my house. If you don’t love this movie you are probably dead inside, or mentally ill, or a cyborg. Look into it… seriously I’m worried about you.

Back to the Future

Michael J. Fox plays Marty McFly, a teenager who accidentally gets sent back 30 years in time and finds himself hanging out with his own parents. Of course anyone who knows anything about time travel will know that this will no doubt lead to trouble, and sure enough he soon realises his actions have endangered his very existence.

As the story unfolds Marty has to race to boost his Dad’s confidence, deter his mothers advances (uh huh), and of course get back to the future. Once of my favourite childhood movies, and still an enjoyable watch, although now you will find yourself marvelling at the past not only in the 50’s bit’s but also in the “current” 80’s scenes.

The Dark Crystal

As this was the first film I ever saw in the cinema I can’t leave it off my list. This beautifully dark fantasy film featured a variety of animatronics and puppets, creating a truly unique film, unlike anything we had seen before.

The story follows a young Gelfling, who believes he is the last of his race, in his quest to find the missing shard of a magic crystal and restore order to his world. Worth watching, not just for the ground-breaking methods used, but also for the great story.

Hope you enjoyed the list  and will consider revisiting or even introducing the next generation to some of these gems.  Of course there are loads of brilliant films of the time that I haven’t included here, as these are just the first ones that popped into my head, so I would love to hear about your favourites.

Love it or hate it, nobody can deny that twitter has many of us hooked. While many critics rants about the pointlessness of it all, it’s supporters are equally if not more passionate in their appreciation of the system.

Once twitter has got it’s claws into you, there is very little defence, as it becomes an essential source of conversation, information, inspiration and friendship. Whatever first attracted you, there comes a point for many twitter users where they realise that this social networking tool has become an essential part of their lives and they are well and truly addicted.

Here are some tell tale signs that you might have a twaddiction..

You add tw to the starts of words

For some reason the compulsion to twansform words becomes impossible to resist, and before you know it you will be re-writing the twictionary.

Warning: Doing this around non twitter users will make them think you are a twat.

You waste days trying out twitter applications

As your addiction grows you will probably seek out applications for everything from accessing twitter through to checking out your stats.

Warning: While there are many great apps out there, there are also some utterly pointless, boring and worst of all broken applications. Avoid this by sticking with recommended apps.

You friends start rolling their eyes when you mention twitter

While you might think you are simply encouraging people to join in the fun, your twitter avoiding friends might start to think you have been paid to bore them into submission.

Warning: Defending twitter too strongly amongst the uninitiated might make you seem mental.

You check twitter before your email

Instead of checking your email, or doing whatever work you sat down to do, you automatically open the web page or your chosen twitter app.

Warning: A quick 5 minute check of your tweets may delay you for a LOT longer.

You spend Friday night on twitter

Okay so in itself this isn’t a bad thing, we have all had lazy nights at home messaging about on the computer. The difference here is you can spend the evening on twitter, and feel like you have had a fun sociable evening with friends.

Warning: Mixing twitter and alcohol is fun, but can lead to embarrassing tweets.

A retweet makes your day

You go from wondering what the hell RT means to feeling joy when your amusing offhand comment gets noticed and quoted by your twitter pals.

Warning: Don’t get too used to getting full credit for your awesome wit, in real life the best you can hope for is a chuckle.

You share your news on twitter first

While once you might have told your partner, mother, doctor or friends, twitter becomes your first port of call when you have big news. After all, if they aren’t following you on twitter what do they expect?

Warning: Your friends and family might not appreciate finding out major news after spam bots. So if you are pregnant or have a new job try to at least tell your partner before sharing it with the world.

You socialise with your twitter friends

As you make more friends on twitter you might find yourself wanting to spread the joy into the real world and get together for drinks and general merriment.

Warning: Drinking with twitter users can lead to embarrassing twitpics.

You use twitter as a TV guide

You let your twitter friends choice of viewing influence yours, then find yourself tweeting (and reading other people’s tweets), about TV while you are watching it.

Warning: You may end up watching some terrible reality TV, as bitching about it on twitter makes it much more fun.

You blog posts are all twitter related

Although you might try to avoid it, you find yourself posting about twitter more and more often, and might even find yourself writing a blog about twitter addiction.

Warning: May deter people who don’t use twitter… oooops.

If you find yourself displaying any of these symptoms, well it’s already to late. So just enjoy it and try not to hit refresh too often.

Having worked in IT, web design and development for over ten years I have encountered my fair share of awkward clients. The kind of clients who make unreasonable requests, expecting 2 weeks of work overnight for slave wages, the ones who hire you for your expertise but won’t listen to your advice, and then of course blame you when things go wrong. All web designers will have similar horror stories and I will no doubt share my own amusing stories one day, but this post isn’t about bad clients. As annoying as some clients can be there is something that makes out lives far more difficult, and that is bad web designers.

One of the most difficult aspects of working in web is the fact that there is no real structure. While those in the know might understand the difference between a designer and a developer your average client doesn’t know or care what you call yourself, they just want the job done. They don’t care about the difference between code and graphics, never-mind different programming languages, and they certainly don’t want you to tell them you can’t do parts of the job because it isn’t your area of expertise. However you stumbled into the job, be it through code or design, flash or css, dreamweaver or notepad, mac or pc… if you are offering your services as a web designer or developer you owe it to your clients to understand as many aspects of website creation as possible.

Of course if you work for a large company, in a specific role, or as a specialist freelancer, then you will be able to focus your skills more, but not matter what your main focus is, anyone who works building websites need at least an understanding a huge range of skills. Not only that but you need to keep learning, as web design and development evolves quickly, so you can never reach the point where you know everything.

So considering all that, it’s understandable that sometimes we have to take on jobs that require unlearned skills, and learn while we work. Every web designer I know has said ‘no problem’ to a client, only to spend the next few sleepless nights struggling to get some ridiculously complex feature working, and no matter how good you get there will always be new challenges. So is it therefore fine to bullshit clients and lead them to believe you have skills and experience you don’t have? I think not.

As a skilled developer and designer I have spent years building my skills and ensuring sites are completed as promised. Based on this experience I know that if something is possible I can do it, and I have enough understanding of emerging technologies to know how hard or easy it will be for me to get to grips with it. Even with all my experience there are plenty of jobs I won’t even look at, as they require skills that I don’t have and I am experienced enough to know that I can’t learn them in a reasonable time. However there is a breed of “Web Designers” out there who will take on any job no matter how big or small, how far removed from their skills, or how unrealistic the deadline.

These web wanabees always talk a very convincing talk. They seem to know every bit of terminology and will delight in boring their clients or colleagues to death with unnecessary jargon, that often make no sense to anyone who actually understands web design or dev. They will insist systems need to be re-written totally because they don’t understand the original code. They will blame servers, networks and users for errors, rather than accepting that there might be a fault with their own work. They will miss deadlines or produce half finished work, then spend meetings complaining about how difficult the work is or listing reasons why whatever you have asked for isn’t possible. In short they won’t actually be able to do the job but, maybe due to the lack of structure and general understanding of web design, they can get away with it for a surprisingly long time.

So why does this bother me? It has been an annoyance in various jobs, as I have been stuck working with or even attempting to train these inept yet mouthy morons when my employers have accidentally hired people who must have lied their way through the entire interview. However now that I am freelancing it still bothers me, partly because I am a nice enough person who doesn’t like to see people being ripped off, but mostly because on a purely selfish level the last thing I want or need is clients who have been messed around by dodgy web designers. After a few months of dealing with these charlatans and getting frustrated it’s entirely understandable that some clients become suspicious and and therefore more difficult to work with, which is the last thing any of us want.

So how can you spot these web fakes?

Always ask to see examples

Any web designer should be able to produce numerous online examples of their work and there is no legitimate excuse for not having any sites lives. Even if the work they have done has been taken offline they can easily look up older sites on http://www.archive.org/web/web.php (have fun watching them turn white and make excuses when you suggest that). Of course there are legitimate reasons for not having some work online, such as private sites, secure cms systems or intranets, but  there is nothing stopping them from putting up examples site to show off their skills. Example sites can be created quickly by an experienced designer, so anyone who hasn’t taken the time to do so is clearly not going to have time to do your project.

Get a mock-up

If you are unsure of their skills or just want to be sure their style will suit your project ask them to create a mock-up of the end result or a basic example of a page or feature for your project. Obviously you need to be reasonable here. You can’t expect anyone to work for free, so you may need to be prepared to pay them for this time, but paying to see what they can do in a hour might save you some money in the long run. Most web designers will be happy to provide basic mock-ups to prove their skills, so a refusal to do so might be a cause for concern.

Look out for techno babble

Part of the job of a good web designer is explaining things to clients in terms they can understand, not making them more confused. If your web designer is constantly using confusing technical terms and can’t explain what they plan to do in real english then you might want to give them a miss. Or you might end up with something you don’t want or need. Of course sometimes us nerds will forget ourselves and slip into tech speak, so don’t assume the worst, just ask them to clarify what they mean to ensure they are going to deliver what you want.

Always agree plans and costs

Before starting your project a decent designer will normally create a proposal or user requirements document outlining the project and any costs involved. This provides security for both sides, as they can be sure you won’t ask them for extra work unpaid, and you can be sure you are getting everything you want for the agreed price. It’s also a good way of being sure that they understand exactly what you want, and gives you an opportunity to suggest any major changes before the project starts. If you designer isn’t happy to write a proposal or agree costs a the outset I would be very suspicious, as it could mean they either don’t understand the project or the budget. A good way to avoid confusion here is to be up-front about what you want to spend, and then a decent designer will be able to work out proposal based on that.

Stay in touch

Left to their own devices a bad web designer isn’t going to get any better, or go out of their way to let you know that they aren’t going to meet your deadline. I don’t suggest breathing down their neck, but requesting a weekly update is hardly unreasonable. If they are unwilling to stay in touch or unable to show any progress you will be aware of it early on and can take action if needed.

Don’t excuse too much

Sometimes things go wrong in web design. There can be technical problems with the servers, bugs in the platform, software or code, delays caused by third parties or differences of taste in terms or style and design. Of course these things can and will happen, but there are limits to how much you should accept. If your web designer advises you or a problem, or you are unhappy with part of the project you should give them some time to correct the error, but if it continues or keeps reoccuring you might have to accept that they aren’t capable of the job. So look out for excuses, and if they aren’t followed by any kind of progress you might want to cut your losses and find someone who can get it done.

If you follow these tips you should avoid the very worst types of web pretenders, or at least spot them early enough in the project to save you money and frustration. Sadly there will always be people out there who will exaggerate their skills, take on projects that are beyond them or even intentionally rip people off. There is no way to guarantee this won’t happen to you, but if you agree everything on paper and keep hold of the final payment till the work is done you should save yourself some grief and avoid paying for work that isn’t done.

Today’s twitter fail seems to be slowly coming to a stuttering end, and we can at least see posts within the last 15 minutes now.  This latest #twitterfreeze has encouraged me to once again suggest/beg/plead for twitter to charge us users a small fee.

If twitter charged all active users a small joining fee, say £1 or $1, they could then use that money to secure more robust servers and/or new developers to help speed up the system. It would also have the added benefit of detering some spammers, especially the automated ones, as most are unlikely to want to pay to hassle us.

If twitter are concerned about it detering new users they could enforce it after a certain time-period or amount of tweets. So say after a month or 500 posts you have to pay a dollar before you can post more.

I am sure most users would be more than happy to pay a small amount, especially if it helped to improve the service, so I can’t help wondering why they seem so opposed to the idea. I hope they reconsider, as it seems insane to me that such a popular platform is struggling to provide service without charging it’s users anything at all.

My fellow twitter users may have noticed that nobody in their stream has posted for over 2 hours. I did quick search round my friends streams and it seems that this problem is global.

It seems that @replies and search work, and you can see tweets if you visit individual pages, but the main stream is suffering a 2 hour delay.

Interestingly the @twitter account has no visible posts on the topic, and instead of the fail whale alerting us to the outage, everything appears fine, assuming you believe that nobody has posted for over 2 hours.

Anyway, I am posting this in case any of my friends are as confused as I was, just to confirm there is indeed a problem. Hopefully twitter will get on it (or at least admit there is a problem) soon.

In the meantime I guess we should all go outside for a walk, do our work, play hopscotch… or whatever else it was we did before we became addicted to tweeting our lives away.

Update:

The status page is displaying the following message:

Timeline delays this morning 1 hour ago

We are currently investigating a problem causing many users’ timelines to be delayed. We will update with status here shortly.

Doesn’t really explain the full scope of the issue, but at least it’s in hand.

It isn’t going to be a shock to anyone who reads my blog that I have been considered weird more than once in my life. Of course now that I am in my 30’s, and as close to adulthood as I am ever likely to get, I am comfortable with my quirks and eccentricities, but this wasn’t always the case. So how did I get here? How did I evolve into a confident person who is comfortable in my own skin? Is it just the standard time-line for maturity? Was my youthful geekiness and lack of popularity a blessing in disguise, that has made me the well rounded person I am today?

Like everyone, I was plagued with self doubt and insecurity in my youth, but along with a few of my fellow weird kids, I had to come to terms with the fact that I actually was a bit different. Don’t get me wrong, I was a hell of a lot luckier that some of the unfortunate, acne ridden, and awkwardly incomprehensible nerds that no doubt lurked in the hallways of every school. I was funny, entertaining and even liked, just not that much. In my small school I was rarely able to find long-term friendship, maybe due my geeky hobbies, rebellious nature, sick sense of humour and interest in things that were not deemed appropriate for my age or sex.

Whatever the cause, barring a few short stints as back-up friend or being a third wheel I was best friendless for most of my school years. Although I was comfortable entertaining the group I didn’t really have much in common with the girls in my class, which left me wondering why I couldn’t manage to connect with them as they could with each other. The truth was, they were as unusual to me as I was to them. So without any real malice friendships would generally drift apart, and I could get back to reading strange adult books, playing computer games and generally living in a world of my own, while trying to not look bothered by it.

Logically I knew I was fairly happy in my own company, and that there were people out there who would appreciate my charms one day, but the shame of walking around alone, admitting that I was friendless was almost too much to bear at that age. So for a while I tried hard to fit into the groups in my class in a variety of ways, most of which were more comedic than successful. I tagged along with pairs of best friends, being constantly reminded of my lesser position. I also attempted to fit in with the high proportion of young Christians in my class. I went to sleepovers which ended in Sunday morning church visits, where I would be advised that my family would burn in hell, which t seemed like a steep price to pay for friendship with added disapproval. I even joined Youth for Christ for a few weeks, but after corrupting a few good Christians I had to admit it wasn’t going to be for me.

So once my options had been exhausted I learned to manage on my own while saving face as much as possible. At break time I would try to find a secluded spot or walk round quickly so nobody would notice I was on my own. I generally muddled on like that till my early teens, till I was lucky enough to find some friends who felt as different as I did amongst the sexually confused, different coloured or just plain weird fellow rejects.

Of course since then I have made many friends, and outside of the confines of a tiny school in a small town in Namibia it was easier to be successful. Getting to an age where boys realised they could actually hang out with girls also helped, as suddenly there were people who appreciated my love of comics, films, sci-fi and games. However, finally having close female friends to gossip and share secrets with was also a joy, and helped me realise that I wasn’t that weird after all, or even if I was, there were others like me about.

I am not sure any label is a perfect fit, but geek is probably closest fit for me, although back then the concept of a geek girl was alien, and frankly the geek or nerd labels were only ever used as insults. As much as I liked books and other nerdy hobbies, I didn’t do my homework often enough to be considered one, and was far too badly behaved to fit in with the swots. So I was never really sure where I fitted in. These days however you hear a lot about geek chic, and thanks to the internet there is definitely a greater sense of geek pride that their was when I was a youngster.

So maybe if this pride had been greater back then I would have felt happier and more confident, or at least know there were people out there who were as weird as me. Well I am sure it would have helped, but the reality is that no matter how awesome us grown-up geeks might think we are, the young don’t have that knowledge and some kids are always going to feel like outsiders. We have spent years figuring out who we are, building up life long friendships and finding out own niche, but any kid who finds themselves too far outside the norm is going to have to struggle, and who knows… maybe that isn’t always a bad thing.

Thanks to my childhood lack of friendship opportunities, be it through fate or self sabotage, I got tough. I learned that pretending to be someone else is never worth it and hiding who you are never works. I learned to throw myself into the things I love and laugh at my own flaws instead of trying to hide them, secure in the knowledge that anyone who liked the real me would be the kind of friend I wanted. I learned to love my own company and not care what anyone else thought of me being alone. I accepted that not everyone is going to like me, and trying to change that is pointless, which has saved me a lot of time and misery since.

However happy and confident or kind and friendly I might be, someone out there will dislike my opinions, my conversational style, my beliefs or even just my face. As a child, when my options felt so limited, each snub felt like a personal attack. The fear of being the outsider, the loser, the social reject was so great, it would lead me to obsess over why they didn’t like me. Was I too friendly? Was I not friendly enough? Did they think I was fake? Did they really think I was being bitchy when I made that joke? How can I prove to them that I am not as bad as they think? How do I make them like me?

Now that I am all grown-up(ish), I no longer fear being alone and I don’t feel the need to seek out friendships with people who don’t like me. Why would I when I have so many awesome friends who do? Of course I might feel a twinge of disappointment or social awkwardness when someone snubs me, but I can take it in my stride. If someone finds my opinions or personality repulsive I am unlikely to enjoy theirs, so why waste my time being anything other than polite? Of course sometimes someone I admire will seem to take a dislike to me, which is frustrating, but trying to guess why or change someone’s opinion of you is an exercise in futility. All you can do is be yourself and appreciate the friends you do have.

So am I grateful that I was an odd kid who had a hard time making friends? Well of course I could have done without those years of feeling inadequate, and if fate had been kinder I would have no doubt loved to have a closer friends back then, but it just wasn’t meant to be. I did however learn a lot, not least the value of the friends I do have. So yes, I am glad that I was and am a nerd, a weirdo, a social reject, as all those things have made me who I am today, which has gained me the best friends a geek like me could ever want.